what do you want to be when you grow up?

when i was young-er, i wanted to be doing so many things, but not once did i think i would do what i'm doing now.

adult : "N bila besar nak jadi apa?"

me : "N rasa N nak jadi pilot la"

adult : "kenapa N nak jadi pilot? ?"

me: "best apa jadi pilot, boleh naik plane gi mana-mana N suka."

adult: "stewardess pun naik plane apa, kenapa tak nak jadi stewardess?"

me: "mummy kata stewardess tu macam 'waitress' jer, kena hidang air la, makanan la. tak best. jadi pilot relax jer macam boss, duduk jer kat dalam bilik kecik kat depan tu".

adult: "nanti kalau kapal terbang kena hijack, pilot mati dulu tau" (so ok, this was in the 1970s...ha ha)

me: "apa pulak pilot mati dulu?"

adult: "sebab pilot kan boss dalam plane tu....boss la kena mati dulu" (what words of wisdom!)

so there goes one childhood dream.

me: "kalau camtu N tak nak jadi pilot la, N nak jadi orang yang buat plane."

I found out that that would be a "aeronautical engineer", but i dumped that ambition soon enough mainly because:

1. It was too hard to spell in essays and difficult to pronounce when one is asked.
2. It wasn't as glamourous as a pilot.
3. I suck in chemistry (so ok, i wanted to be that till about Form 4. ha ha...)

so for a while i didn't really have an ambition and my lack of ambition was worrying my mum. especially when after form 5, i didn't know what i wanted to do. i tried going back to school for my form 6 and stayed till the work got harder (after being voted "Freshie Queen" of course! ha ha). i also enrolled in a local uni to do an external course but left after 3 months. yeah, this was despite my dad giving me free access to his car to go to classes! and yeah i left when it got boring.

spoilt brat that i am, in the end, my mum gave up and 'gave' me a year's holiday! yay!

then my mum took me to see her friend, who is a successful businessman.

he asked, "how do you see yourself living when you're older? where do you want to stay, what do you want to drive, how do you want to live?"

me: "actually, it would be nice to wear shorts and a floral shirt, sipping a cool drink by the beach all day."

i guess my mum's friend sensed that this is not going where my mum wanted it to. "well, so what do you need to do so that you could live like that?".

me: "I could be like a tour guide or something, or own a few chalets."

yes, that sounds like an ambition!

me: "But that could be my last job, like after I've done all the real adult work stuff"

now we're getting somewhere!

me: (and I was on a roll...) "I could still drive my VW, although it would be in a better condition la, since I'll be working, I can get it done up. Then I'd live in one of those hillside townhouses at Bangsar?"

I guess mum's friend must have been relieved hearing that, "So what do you need to do to live that life?"

me: (hey, I've been tricked!) "Study?"

mum's friend: "Yes, but what would it be?"

of course the rest of it is history really, my mum thought it was a good idea to do a 1-year pre-uni course since i already took a year off, which i did. and when it was time to decide what course i should take at uni, it was really, like my mum said "something which will give you the flexibility to do what you want after you graduate".

so I guess, that's how I came to do what I'm doing now. Although now I feel like I'm ready for my next phase -

"to wear shorts and a floral shirt, sipping a cool drink by the beach all day."